User blog:Bern Unit/Bern Unit - Can't Fin My Way Home
Bern sat down at a table in the Watchtower cafeteria, the pad and pen in hand. He knew this was something that was long overdue but until recently he did not have the clear head to be able to do it. He grabbed his coffee and took a sip, the warmth from the light brown and sweetened liquid radiated through his body, he sank into his seat and stared at the pad for a moment before writing; “Dear mom, I know it has been a very long time since we last spoke, if you could even call the last time ‘speaking’ as I remember it more like me shouting and saying a lot of very hurtful things. I hope this letter finds you in good times and if not, maybe this will be a small glimmer of positivity in the troubled times you may be in. I want you to know that I miss you and hope that you are doing well. Are you still working? How’s Jilly? A day does not go by that I don’t regret not being there for her the big brother I should have been. She’s got to be around 19 now? You both needed me and I dropped the ball, I don’t know if I can ever forgive myself for that. If you get this and you feel like you can or want to write me back, I would love to hear anything you and/or Jilly have going on, I feel like it is has been way too long since we had any contact and I know that I am to blame for that. Hopefully you find it in you to send a few words back my way. In the mean time I feel like I have so much to tell you so here goes. First, and I think foremost, I am not the same person you remember me to be. A lot has gone on since we last saw each other. I can’t say it was all good, I did have some ups and downs but right now and for a while I have been doing much better and have changed a lot. I am clean and have been for close to 2 years now. I have gone through some personal growth periods and have done a lot of soul searching. I have been able to let go of a lot of bad people and things that I was hanging onto in my life. Over time I have had to develop a bit of a thick skin to things that I would have normally let bother me and eventually bring me down. I have taken a lot of time to work on things and really learned some useful skills that have helped me manage some obstacles that have been in my way. I can write to you and say that I have handled the situations that come my way as appropriately as I could and have not turned to any drugs or alcohol to deal with things. Work has been keeping me pretty busy. It seems like I am at the office more than I am anywhere else. It’s really a nice gig though. I have been able to travel to places I never even knew were there and been able to meet a lot of really good and interesting people. I don’t seem to mind putting in the hours because it feels like the more time I put, the better I get. I have met some characters along the way though. It’s tough out there and not everyone wants the same things that you want. Sometimes I have had to learn to put up a wall with some people and just walk away. Despite the ups and downs at work, it is great thought because I am able to be exposed to other cultures and customs and it is really good to be able to have that understanding of others, makes you realize just how big the world really is. I think the best thing that has come out of all of the trials and tribulations that I have experienced is that I have come to like myself again. I am proud of where I am at and what I am doing. I want to be able to help others feel that way about themselves….it is a really good feeling and one that I haven’t had in a long time. I know that there are others who try to stop people from getting to that place and think that they are the only ones who can or should feel that way, but I do what I can to avoid those people or let them know that is wrong. Another thing that I am really happy about is that I have made some really good friends, good people, not like the ones I used to keep. They have helped me a lot and have done a lot of good things on their own. I was able to meet them through my own work and found that we all kind of do the same thing, they seem to like my work and asked me to come on with them. I am sure you are wondering what it is that I am doing, I have found work in the help professions as they call it. I found my way into social services and am doing work that allows me to help those who cannot help themselves overcome the challenges they are faced with. I hope that these words come through as genuine and sincere as that is how they are meant. I think about you guys all the time and hope that someday soon we can all reconnect and catch up to what we once were. I know that there are some things that will take some time to get used to and/or to believe, but if you are willing to work towards that, so am I. So, hears to hoping that you take from this what I meant to put out there. I hope to hear from you soon. I love you. With lots and lots, Berny" Bern put the pen down and looked at the paragraphs he had just poured on the paper in front of him. He folded it and sealed it in the envelope. The last step in this process for Bern was writing the last address he knew his mother to have in Metropolis. He placed the stamp on the envelope and dropped it in the mail box for transport. Making his way to the window that he gazed out of regularly, he pondered if she was still at that address or even still alive. Bern felt good about what he was sending out and had to believe that his mother would gather the truth from his words. Bern looked at his coffee cup and to himself said “Here’s to new starts….” And took a sip, the warmth flowed through him again and he closed his eyes with a small smile. ~To be continued~ Category:Blog posts